How To Become More Emotionally Mature

 

In an ever increasing world of complexity, emotional maturity is the thing that makes us stable. Emotional maturity is one of many characteristics that can help to easy up your life.

The American Psychological Association defines emotional maturity as “a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.” So in layman terms, a person who knows and can communicate with others his/her emotions is a emotionally matured individual.

Various psychologist, philosophers and social experts have made their own different definitions of what 'emotional maturity' is, here are few quotations from them that help us to understand the term better and its importance. Here are three   'emotional maturity' quotes

1) "Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situation that threaten your peace of mind, self respect, values, morals and self worth'.

— Buddha

2) "To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it".

— Doc Childre

3) "Maturity can be said to be the ability to understand your feelings and be able to act on those feelings rightly. It is to know what is going on within your heart, translate this knowledge, and have the willingness to express what you know and how you feel in the right way. Expression matters a lot. Once your expression of your feelings goes south, your maturity begins to be questioned".

- Unknown

In short importance of emotional maturity is that it gives us time for "self-control" and time to calculate 'weather to show our emotions or not at a certain place/event'. It gives individual sensation of stronghood and strength.

Here's how you can achieve emotional maturity

1) Taking responsibility

Owing up to your past actions is perhaps biggest sign of your emotional maturity, regardless of the fact that whether these actions have caused more harm than good.

Even if you're actions have caused yourself and others harm, acknowledging and rectifying them is the only viable way forward. Practising taking responsibility will put your own happiness and sadness in your hands and from there on it's your decisions that'll decide whether you'll be happy or sad.

Giving responsibility of yourself to someone else always leads to injustice on their behalf, beacuse for all of their love and respect for you, they don't actually know what's best for you, as it only you who actually knows what's best for you.
Taking responsibility means taking power in your own hand, there are two quote that I've read somewhere that should be included here, here they are:

¹) "It is only when you take responsibility for your life that you discover how powerful you truly are".

– Allanah Hunt

2) The key is taking responsibility and initiative, deciding what your life is about and prioritizing your life around the most important things.

– Stephen Covey

When you start to take responsibility, you'll always have your own life goals and ambitions in your mind, even if you fail in achieving them for a moment, starting all over again is always option. There's a famous proverb that goes like this "Social And Emotional Maturity Is Intertwined"

2) Show Empathy

"Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort".

- Roy T. Bennett

There are various types of emotional maturity and perhaps showing emphaty is among the most one. Sign and characteristics of emotional maturity can be seen when a individual knows how emotional can become a major factor in someone life, their ambitions and their decisions.

Accept the fact that humans are 'social animals' that's are emotional in most of their day to day relationships/workings. It's okay on some social occasions to show your emotions, show what your heart is feeling at that moment.

In some social occasions, self empathy can be very important, learning to talk to oneself and listening to yourself, one can help your own thoughts, thinking and mood when they're no one in your immediate surroundings to brighten your mood.

Empathy starts with careful and well intented listening, listen to other individuals problems with interpretation.

If you've a solution, give them that solution without pressing on it, if you know something will trigger or upset them, refrain from giving these unsolicited opinions/advice.

 Another thing to keep in your mind is that when empathising with someone, try to be as free of judgement as you can be. Try to relate with they're problems with your past experience or experience with someone that you both know and sympathize with them this way.

Physical affection like a deep hug, handshake or hand-tap can go along way in helping someone through their problems, it's a physiological way of telling them that they're not alone.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around".

- Leo Buscaglia

When empathising with someone, always be mindful of your language, tone and selection of words that you'll be choosing to say.

Empathy is a social skill that's acquired through proper practice and communication skills. Funerals and Weddings are most important test of emotional maturity, most people loose their cool in these events.

3) Understand What You're Body Is Telling You

Your body speaks to you, make a habbit of listening to it. Probably, the first step in this regard will be to eliminate as much of the noise and overall distractions as can be removed possibly from your immediate surroundings. Surround yourself with organic, orginal and natural materials like plants and a pet.

Start practising deep breathing, this excercise is shown to lower blood pressure l, calm and relax your mood by loosening up your muscles. Other type of meditation and Yoga exercises can help you achieve same outcomes.

They're are three ways you can check your body overall health and what it's trying to tell you. Number one is your endurance level, aka time it takes you to get tired, which obviously puts stain on your heart. Number two is your bowl movement and its colour, this will give you clue to your digestion. Third is to notice often how are you getting fever, heaches and colds, this will give you clue how vulnerable your immune system is.

Get back into shape, if your not, Improve your physical health and you'll notice that your mental health is improving by itself.


4) Set Healthy Proffesional And Personal Boundaries

"Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”

-Doreen Virtue

This goes without saying that relationships play important role in our day to day lives,
having a lasting impact on our entire lives.
Not having working boundaries can make life difficult even miserable in some cases for both people or parties.
By setting boundaries, I mean you know how much you can go and open up to a certain individual and where to stop.

There are multiple ways you can maintain a healthy boundary in your workplace relationships and family/freinds. First step is to know your limits yourself and establish them. Second step is to openly communicate these said boundaries, don't be afraid of say if someone is breaking your boundaries and last is to step other people's boundaries so in turn they respect yours.

Boundaries may seem at first as harsh or selfish but in long term relationships/friendships these boundaries help to enhance the relationship. Plus the quality of these relationships tend to be much better than those without established boundaries, so here's a quote that fits here

"Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom".

– Henry Cloud


At end of day, it's our interaction with other people that define us.

5) Be Confident In Your Self

It's okay to have rational fear of rejection, to have reasonable doubts but still you've to have confidence in yourself.

Self Confidence in ernest is all about accepting yourself with all the flaws and negative that you may and owing them in the face of faceless world.

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her".

- Lao Tzu

You can be more confident of yourself by not fearing failure, by not procrastinating stuff that'll never happen, rationality is your best friend in this regard. Learn to talk to yourself, question your own doubts and realise that only you can overcome said doubts.